I Saved Latin

Damn I'm Funny

Below is a transcript of an IM conversation I had with my buddy T-Bone today.  Well, his name isn't really T-Bone, but he earned that nickname on Engel's bachelor party in Las Vegas.  Long story.

Anyway, this chat transcript illustrates just how goddamn funny I am.  If I do say so myself.

Vince says:
The - Lighting the Unity Barbecue - joke - still cracks me up
Drew says:
i don't know that joke or i don't remember where it's from
Vince says:
dale's wedding
Drew says:
did i make that joke?
Vince says:
yes
Drew says:
damn, i'm funny
Vince says:
Do you need me to set it up - or do you remember
Drew says:
i forget it all
Vince says:
It was beautiful day in the wine country when Dale and Jen chose to get married at a small to medium sized winery in the valley
Drew says:
i remember that part
Vince says:
Butterflies swooned around Jen's melon as the (Person who speaks during the ceremony) actioned for the bride and groom to be to light the unity candle - I was sitting on the right side of the crowd - you on the left accross the aisle and many seats away from me
Drew says:
i thought the butterflies were just from my hangover
Vince says:
The bride and groom reached for and began clicking the triggers of the fire starter wands - and I looked over to you and you were saying the perfect joke to go with the scene - and I knew it was good - because the person sitting next to you (Lindsey?) started busting up - and I had to know what it waas - so later I asked
Drew says:
now i'm laughing
Vince says:
Lighting the Unity barbecue - so simple

For those wondering, it WAS Lindsey sitting next to me at the wedding.  I can also state, for the record, that I was VERY hung over from the party the night before.  I can also say that I'm probably at my funniest when I feel that way - I don't know why, but I am.

Dirtiest Page That Isn't Dirty

Don't ask me how I found this site.  It's much more benign than you might think.

Bottom line is that I found this site and it cracked me up.  This post in particular.

More Favorite Videos

Well, I just wrote about the great SNL Chronic-WHAT-cles of Narnia video.  There's one more hilarious item on TV, that I can't get enough of.  Whenever this commercial comes on, I seriously back up the Tivo and watch it at LEAST twice.

It will get old for me eventually, but it hasn't in the last month.

It's All About the Hamiltons Baby

I've been watching this all day.  Over and over.  It's just freaking hilarious.

http://www.youtube.com/watch.php?v=zLElfJ9YCh0

SNL has been sucking big time recently.  Even Jack Black and Neil Young couldn't save it last weekend.  This bit is the reason I still Tivo it.

EDIT: Here's the embedded video.  You know I'm krazy for these cupcakes KUZIN..

Borat is My Hero

Thank you, Borat.  You are saving my otherwise dull Thanksgiving weekend with some much needed humor.

Seems that Kazahkstan is taking offense to Sascha Cohen's character.  Of all the characters on the Ali G show, Borat is definitely my favorite.   Here are a couple more links to keep you laughing:

Borat Video Response to Kazakhstan's Denouncement

Borat's Website

I like!!!!

I Almost Went Home

Just like Andy, I almost went home.  Well, not really.

This afternoon I drove up to LA for some meetings.  About 20 minutes out of SD, I suddenly remembered that I left my lunch materials out on the counter.  Half a pound of deli ham, open bag of bread and an open jar of mayonnaise.  Hmmm - think that mayo will be any good when I get home tonight at 10 or so?

Salmonella sandwiches, anyone?

Bad Grocery Store Mu-Zak

John in the Morning on KEXP (the best radio station in the universe, by the way - go stream them now and see) has a daily email that goes out to his listeners.  The last few weeks, there has been some discussion about the poor quality of music as played by Whole Foods in Seattle.

Well, I must have had this on my mind when I was shopping at my lowly neighborhood Vons store.  Vons is equal to Safeway for those who don't live in SoCal.  I was cruising the produce section on Monday evening after work, and I found myself humming along to the music being piped through the store's PA system.  Before I knew what was happening, I was almost singing along to Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart."  I about laughed out loud at the realization.

While that was a bad song, as I hit the dairy case, the next song began, which was the theme song to the Sylvester Stallone movie, Over the Top.  Yes, the Sammy Hagar screaming out the lame theme song (called Winner Takes it All for those who want to buy it on iTunes).  Now I really did laugh out loud.  Yes, this music was truly over the top.

Do stores really think that playing this music will make me buy more stuff?  I think the real result was that I quickly loaded my cart and got the hell out of there.  I was afraid to hear what was next.

URL Irony

A friend sent this URL to me via IM:  http://www.cummingfirst.com/

Now, I was naturally afraid to click on this from my work PC.  He assured me "it's not what you think."  Ok, I'm not afraid of IT.  If they see I've been surfing porn, I have the advantage of saying it's for work.  Yes, I could get away with that.  Just another perk of the job.

But seriously, cummingfirst.com?  Kleitch, you should seriously buy that URL from them.

Some Things Demand a Blog Post

Yes, I could write a long diatribe about this. It would be hilarious, you can bet. I think it's funnier left as is, though.

Dog Condoms

Off Broadway At Its Finest

This is awesome.  Take a totaly cheesy 80's movie, starring Patrick Swayze, and adapt it for the stage!  The blonde mullet wig on the star clearly indicates that the creator is not taking the material too seriously.  Apparently, the initial idea for this run was to adapt Young Guns II to the stage, but that it evolved into Road House.  Yes, that would be the sequel, not the first movie.

Genius.